Today sees the official release of our latest record ‘Shelf-Location ROM / Kiss Cuddle Torture’ **CROWD CHEERS** which means (if you haven’t already ordered a copy from us) you can pop down the shops and get yrself a nice shiny vinyl seven-inch clad in a dashing collaged cover.
LISTEN TO ALL 8 SONGS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW
You can buy it in the following record emporiums. In Brighton: Ape, Borderline, Edgeworld, Resident, Rounder In London: Rough Trade
Alternatively, if you are agoraphobic/at work/too lazy you can purchase it online from the comfort of your desk.
Or, if you are not a vinyl junkie/don’t have a turntable/are hip with the times you can buy a special download version with 6 exclusive remixes from the likes of
Tony Tronic (UK) – slick dance-floor friendly synth-disco MC Fashion (UK) – a hyperactive 8-bit gabba meltdown Kemper Norton (UK) – kraut-rock musique concrete Katsen (UK) – pure and perfect 8-bit electro-pop r@zorbla.de (Germany) – darkwave trancefloor goth-Soft-Cell disco Hawnay Troof (USA) – camped-up hi-NRG Euro disco
AT The Hope, Queen’s Road, Brighton (just down the hill from the station for all you out-of-towners – just step off the train and head for the sea)
DOORS: 8pm – 2am (bands between 8 and 11, synth disco ‘til late)
ENTRY is £6 or £5 with a flyer
This is our first show in 6 months (yes it really is that long!), and it will be the only time we play for the rest of the year. So. You. Should. Most. Definitely. Come. We promise art-core electronic pop, trashy synth-garage mayhem, librarian chic and lipstick kisses for each and every one of you!
und here is a flyer which you can print in blackandwhite and bring along to warrant entry for a mere £5
The White Noise Electronic Music Festival has had to be cancelled :(
here's the official line: "Unfortunately due to the present economic climate, poor pre-sales and an inability to reach a break-even figure calculated by Hendra Holiday Park and due for payment tomorrow October 1st, we have had to take the regrettable decision to cancel the WNF Festival for this year.
Please believe us when I say that both parties (WLM) and PH promotions have worked very hard to make this event happen and although we had the monies in place to stage the show itself we did not have the resources available to underwrite the monies required by Hendra by the October 1st deadline.
We are in short, very upset, very tired and also I think safe to say very angry that we have not been able to secure the show this year.
All monies paid by ticket holders will be returned to them in full.
Again, we are very sorry for this cancellation and many thanks for your continued support of the label."
L’Amour Electronique is FIVE this month! Come and celebrate with us this weekend…
SATURDAY 27th SEPTEMBER L’Amour Electronique The Penthouse, above The Freebutt, Phoenix Place, Brighton 8pm until 1am FREE ENTRY all night (and cheap-o drinks too)
We will be playing our finest selection of French bubblegum pop, synthesized ditties and electronic goodness, including some new gems picked up in Paris this week. And we will have a special guest DJ and Polnareff fanatic to join us in our quest.
As well as celebrating, you can also commiserate with us as this will be our very last soirée at The Penthouse – Booooooooooo! It’s okay though, cos we have already secured ourselves a brand new home with a belle vue (and much nicer toilets) where we will be every 4th Saturday from November – Woooooooooo!
So come and help us go out with a great big SHE-BAM! POW! PLOP! WHIZZZZZZZZ!
DAY PASSES NOW ON SALE! WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE ARE AT LAST OFFERING ONE DAY PASSES FOR THE FESTIVAL. 200 PASSES WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR EACH DAY OF THE FESTIVAL, ON SALE FROM TODAY VIA THE ONLINE SHOP ONLY.
DAY TICKETS WILL COST £20 EACH AND WILL ALLOW THE PURCHASER TO SEE ALL THE BANDS ON THE PARTICULAR DAY CHOSEN BUT DOES NOT INCLUDE ACCOMODATION. TO PURCHASE JUST CLICK ON THE BUTTON FOR THE RELEVANT DAY IN THE SHOP. ON PURCHASING A TICKET A BOOKING REFERENCE WILL BE EMAILED TO YOU SHORTLY AFTERWARDS.
WHEN YOU QUOTE THE REFERENCE AT THE FESTIVAL GATE WITH YOUR I.D WE WILL PRESENT YOU WITH YOUR DAY PASS WRISTBAND.
PLEASE NOTE NO TICKETS WILL BE SOLD ON THE GATE AT THE ACTUAL FESTIVAL, DAY PASSES WILL BE WITHDRAWN FROM SALE ON 01-10-2008
The full line-up has now been confirmed - Looks pretty sweet.
---------FRIDAY----------
4:00 - 5:00 Ribside DJ 5:00 - 5:40 The Woodcraft Folk 6.10 - 6.50 Christof Dienz 7.20 - 8.00 HK119 8.30 - 9.10 Contra Mundum 9.40 - 10.20 3EEM 10.50 - 11.30 The ASBO Kid 12.00 - 12.40 I Monster 1.00 - 2.00 Damo Suzuki
Greetings Pain-fans new and old, Yes we know we're on 'down-time' at the moment, but we have a couple of newsworthy things to tell you about, just make sure you're sitting comfortably and we'll tell all.
First up a reminder about our little night we do every month, we're still finding new gems to play, and we now have a proper blog where you can download mixes and mp3s and watch videos and stuff. There's setlists too – so you can see what we play.
SATURDAY 26 JULY L'AMOUR ELECTRONIQUE Miss Pain DJs play Synth Pop, French Pop and Electro Pop The Penthouse, above The Freebutt, 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, BN2 2ND 8pm - 1am entry: FREE
Yes, you read correct FREE entry, and there's cheap-ish drinks in case that credit-crunch monster has been tucking in on yr hard-earned spends.
In other news we have some hotttttttt new footage of MISS PAIN LIVE ACTION out there in web-land – it was filmed at The Albert, Brighton in April this year and we all have some nasty looking rash-thing going on. (Ubiquitously) YouTube them Or (have a change and) LastFM them
The other week Ann Shenton (she of Add N to (X) and Large Number) phoned us to ask us to play at her electronic music festival. We agreed of course!
THE WHITE NOISE ELECTRONIC MUSIC FESTIVAL 7th, 8th, 9th November 2008 at Hendra Holiday Park, Newquay, Cornwall “No Mud. No Rain. Just Anoraks.”
Looks like we will be kicking off proceedings on the Saturday evening, and we will be playing in the illustrious company of *deep breath* Damo Suzuki - The Asbo Kid - Barry 7 (DJ set) - I Monster (Dj set) - DJ White Noise - Kumo - Hiem - HK119 - Agaskodo Teliverek - Contra Mundum - The Pony Harvest - S.C.U.M - Large Number - Beat Frequency - Wire Mother - Man from Uranus - Vars Of Litchi - Dub Chieftain - Christof Dienz - HealeyIsland - Sunset People - Pygmy Globetrotters - Jash - Space Junk Rockers - The Mirlitrons - Dadanoys - Nitewreckers featuring Dave Ball (Soft Cell) - Jarvis Cocker & Jason Buckle (DJ set) - 3eem - Toffeetronic - Ribside - Woodcraft Folk - Electrosexual - Kaiton - Camp Actor - Sean McClusky - Nikolai Krinitski – and many more
Miss Pain DJs play Synth Pop, French Pop & Electro Pop
The Penthouse, above The Freebutt, Phoenix Place, Brighton
8pm - 1am
entry FREE plus cheap-ish drinks
Today we spent about 4 hours listening to 19 remixes of the tracks on our next single - our brains are a bit frazzled, but we now have a shortlist of 9 to fight over.
Shortly after we'd finished, Sarah received a phone call from Ann Shenton (she of Add N to (X) and Large Number) asking us to play at her White Noise festival in Newquay this November. All very exciting. We'll keep you posted on that...
Greetings Pain-fans, We have just spent 13 hours shut in a rehearsal room/cupboard honing the sound of Pain and making our fingers and ears bleed. Every now and then when the oxygen ran out, we would open the door and gulp down a few precious breaths of fresh air. But for the most part, we saw no daylight. We emerged tired and sore, but ready to head for Germany…
Our journey begins with a horribly early ferry from Dover to Dunkerque – here's an an artist’s impression
We hope to see all the new fans we picked up last year, and many more. So make sure you come and say hello, and teach us some new phrases.
---MORE EXCITING NEWS--- We have a new single almost ready to release: Shelf-Location ROM / Kiss Cuddle Torture (ltd 7” and download) on Nylon! Friction! We’ve not got a proper release date yet, but we will have some advance copies on sale at all Germany dates.
We will also be playing our final UK show of the summer, before we break until October (for important real life things) THU 12 JUN – BRIGHTON, UK The Chap + Miss Pain Artrocker Club @ The Water Margin 9-12 Middle Street, BN1 1AL 8pm | £5 or £3 members Email your name to artrockerbrighton[at]googlemail.com for free membership and cheap entry.
---ONE LAST THING--- There will be no L’Amour Electronique this month, because we will obviously be away in Germany. If we have time we will post a few treats before we go on our blog.
You may or may not be aware that the Miss Pain three will be performing LIVE this weekend. Up until a week ago, we thought the show was on Saturday. Now we’ve just been told it’s on FRIDAY. Wtf?
FRI 18 APR - BRIGHTON Miss Pain + The Fuck You Planet Earth The Albert, 48 Trafalgar St, BN1 4ED 8pm | £5
So you should come along and show that you are well and truly in the loop.
Even more reason to show yr face and lend us yr ears is that we will be trying out some new songs. Plus, the fact that we won’t be playing in Brighton again for a wee while. Also, we promise we will play our best and pull out all the stops and make it a nite to remember…
Do make sure you get there early to witness our good friends The Fuck You Planet Earth – they will shred yr ears good&proper with their shuddering white-noise sonic trickery. And they don’t play nearly enough, so catch them on this rare occasion.
OTHER NEWS SAT 26 APR – BRIGHTON L’Amour Electronique We play records of synth pop and French pop and electronics The Penthouse, above The Freebutt, Phoenix Place 8pm-1am | FREE ENTRY
We have a brand new blog, and we have just posted up a mix/podcast from last month’s soiree, so have a listen and see what you are missing. Go here: lamourelectronique.blogspot.com
MORE NEWS We have a new single on the way in July. We are currently commissioning re-mixes for the download version – if you fancy having a bash, give us a shout.
We are still booking dates for tour in Germany – MAY 22nd-JUNE 1st. (see column on the right for our schedule) If you can put us on in Germany or any neighbouring countries, send us a mail: bookings@misspain.co.uk
See you Friday Love + Pain Dom, Verity and Sarah xxx
Hello the Pain-fans, It’s been a while, and we have been busy, holed-up in Miss Pain HQ writing new songs and booking our tour through Germany in May (see right column for dates and booking info)
---NEUE MUSIK--- We have some new music for your listening pleasure: --A rough mix of ‘Kiss Cuddle Torture’ is now up on Myspace --You may remember last time we gave you a link for ‘Shelf-Location ROM’… The link was wrong it should have been xfmuploaded.co.uk/misspain So go forth and listen, and you can rate us too!
Over the next couple of weeks we will add a whole load of mp3 downloads to our website. Watch this space
---A SPOT OF TWITCHING--- We’re back and we’re troubling our seaside hometown at Club Nervous Twitch, it starts at 22:30, and we will be playing at around the 23:45 hour
It’s January and it’s grim outside. Let us warm your in-box with a hot broth of Pain-news
First, a post Christmas/New Year present for you: We have a new song online for your listening pleasure. Go to xfmuploaded.co.uk/misspain to hear our library-based stalking anthem ‘Shelf-Location ROM’. And don’t forget to RATE US. Cos you all rate us, don’t you?
You can see us performing Shelf-Location ROM in the flesh, along with other hits about Endoscopies, playground games, and flammable nightwear, at the following showcase events: --SUN 20 JAN – BRIGHTON-- Miss Pain live Brighton Phlux show for Radio Reverb 97.2FM The Albert, 48 Trafalgar St, BN1 4ED 2.30pm | FREE ENTRY Our set will be broadcast Mon 21 Jan, 1-2pm, listen on 97.2FM or at radioreverb.com
--TUE 22 JAN – LONDON-- Miss Pain + Inner City Pirates + Lesser Panda Artrocker Club @ The Buffalo Bar, 259 Upper Street, N1 nearest Tube: Highbury & Islington 8.30pm - 1am (onstage 10.15pm) entry £5 or FREE w/ membership from artrocker.com
--WED 30 JAN – CHELMSFORD-- Miss Pain + The Brights Bitterscene @ the Bassment, 16 Wells St (Off Dukes St), CM1 1HZ 8.30pm – 12am £5
--TUE 05 FEB – BRIGHTON-- Miss Pain live + more The SPACE @ Joogleberry Playhouse 14-17 Manchester St, BN2 1TF 7pm | £3/£5 other acts on the bill include Barry Cryer. Yes, Barry Cryer off Radio 4’s ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’, and writer for just about every TV comedy show since the 60’s. Full bill at thespace.me.uk
We will also be playing records at
--SAT 26 JAN – BRIGHTON-- L’AMOUR ELECTRONIQUE Miss Pain DJs play Synth Pop, French Pop and Electro Pop The Penthouse, above The Freebutt, 1 Phoenix Place, BN2 2ND 8pm - 1am entry: FREE check out November's setlist with free mp3 downloads and everything.
Any other business? Yes. --We are currently booking dates for a tour in Germany in May, if you can put us on at your club/venue/party, please email us: bookings(at)misspain.co.uk --We are almost finished mixing Kiss Cuddle Torture, just a few more tweaks and it will be unleashed. Is that all? Yes, I think so. See you in Brighton, London, Chelmsford, Brighton or Brighton. Message ends here. the Miss Pain three xxx
Winter-ful greetings Pain-fans, There’s a cold wind a-blowing and a sheet of rain lashing against the windows of Miss Pain HQ - It’s enough to piss on anyone’s parade…
But not us Pains, we plan to end the year with a tremendous B-A-N-G. The B-A-N-G will be come in four stages (detailed below), and post-B-A-N-G we will collapse and spend 2 weeks being drip-fed on a cocktail of alcohol, beechams, and mince pies.
**B-A-N-G** --SAT 24 NOV – BRIGHTON-- L’AMOUR ELECTRONIQUE (DJ sets only) Miss Pain DJs play Synth Pop, French Pop and Electro Pop The Penthouse, above The Freebutt, 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, BN2 2ND 8pm - 1am entry: FREE
For setlists, mp3 downloads, photos, music and bonus YouTube video delights take a look at our MySpace
Come to one, or some, or all of the above – we promise fun, and fizzy pop noise, and fits and starts, and very possibly a big big **B-A-N-G**.
Other news, in case you’ve been hibernating: Miss Pain have a new CD out – The Carrion Call EP. And our first 2 singles have been re-released on iTunes. Both can be purchased via our online shop, along with a bounty of stocking fillers. Give someone the gift of Pain this Christmas - THE MISS PAIN SHOP
Have a very very Christmas. Love The Miss Pain three xxx
**LIGHTNING FLASH** It’s Monday 8th October, and we are proud mothers and a father because our new CARRION CALL EP fledges the nest today. **FANFARE** You can buy it online right away in our palatial new shop - go forth and flex that plastic muscle.
You can also buy it in the real world: Brighton (from today in Rounder, Resident, and Borderline) London (from Mon 15th Oct in Rough Trade, and Sister Ray)
**INCOMING RADIO TRANSMISSION** Miss Pain will be broadcast across the wires this coming Friday (12th Oct). Tune in to Sean Creed’s Brighton Phlux show, 1pm-2pm on Radio Reverb – 97.2FM (Brighton und Hove) or radioreverb.com (to listen via the interweb). We are ‘record of the week’ every day, and on Friday we have been invited in to perform a short set using only battery-powered equipment.
**BRIGHTON HORROR SHOW**
WED 17 OCT - Halloween Club @ The Engine Room, Preston St, Brighton Get another fix of live Pain action, then see fisherprice Rockstar Kid Carpet, and get yr ears bashed by a full-on Gotho-disco too! myspace.com/haloween_club 9pm-2am / £5/£4 NUS / drinks promos (eg Absinthe £2.50, eeek)
**FRENCH DISKO GOODNESS** Don’t forget L’Amour Electronique every 4th Saturday at The Penthouse, Phoenix Place. Next one is 27th October, 8pm-1am. French Pop, Electronics and Synthetic sounds to tickle yr fancy. And it’s FREE! myspace.com/lamourelectronique for setlists, mp3s and stuff.
**MORE LIVE DATES FOR YR DIARY**
SAT 10 NOV – LONDON – For3ign @ Bar Music Hall, Shoreditch SUN 25 NOV – LONDON – The Windmill, Brixton SAT 01 DEC – SHEFFIELD – Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases @ The Red House FRI 07 DEC – BRIGHTON – In Every Home… A Heartache @ The Cowley Club
And finally, thanx for your whoops and cheers and dancing in Brighton and Cambridge. You gave us a warm feeling in our socks. Keep it Pain-ful The Miss Pain three xxx
Hello Subscribers of Pain. It’s been a while. We’ve been saving up. Deep breath. Go Go Go.
-- PAIN ON THE RADIO THIS SUNDAY (23 SEP) -- We will be guests on Boogaloo Stu’s Cavalcade of Pop this Sunday. Tune in to JUICE 107.2FM (Brighton area), 6pm-8pm. If you don’t live in the Brighton area, fear not, for the show will also be available on t’internet at Totally Radio* from Friday 28 Sep. We will perform 2 songs using only battery-powered equipment, and there will be a Miss Pain competition too. *show will be available for one week.
-- BRIGHTON LIVE (28 SEP) -- And then we begin the marathon BRIGHTON LIVE week. Make sure you keep some reserves of energy for the end of the week. FRI 28 SEP – BRIGHTON LIVE @ The Hope, Queen’s Rd (onstage about 9.50pm) We promise a barrage of pop, noise, drums, synths, feathers, and fun. And it’s FREEEEEEEE! ***Please note the Date Change*** We will NOT be playing anywhere on Thu 27th like it says in the local press.
-- CARRION CALL EP (08 OCT) -- We (finally) have a proper release date for our Carrion Call ep. It will be available to buy on t’internet from the 8th Oct (or sooner, if Dom Pain can get the new online shop finished). You will also be able to get it in all good record shops in Brighton and London. And possibly some other places too… Nylon! Friction! are making it all happen.
-- MORE LIVE ACTION -- Keeping us, and you, busy ‘til almost Christmas!
>>DAY ONE – 30 MAY – LONDON, UK PANIC PANIC PANIC. We are unpacked, unprepared and Coco the Cat knows something is not right. We haven’t been able to play with her all morning. Sarah and David arrive in the van, it seems for once we have rented something better than the standard rust-bucket…
Listening to John Foxx, I set the tone for the tour, sounds like he’s singing “Touching Cloth”. Hit traffic on the M23, Verity is sewing feathers on my stage outfit.
The stage is tiny – about the size of a small double bed. We jam ourselves into place, pink feathers and all. I get a telling off for my bum-notes in Campari & Sex – I swear one of them wasn’t me. We get a tenner for our efforts and conclude that London promoters are generally useless fuckwits. Later, at Laura’s house, Sarah earns the title 'Electro-Womble' as she stops to pick up a piece of metal off the road.
Endoscopy Blues - Live at the Betsey Trotwood, London. 30.05.07 (recorded off a portable TV)
>>DAY TWO – 31 MAY – MARGATE, UK Laura feeds us a hearty breakfast and we are on our way. In Margate we are sent on a hunt to find a key for the only public toilet. You’d think that such a prized facility would at least be kept clean, but no… We visit the Shell Grotto. David is highly sceptical and believes it was built in the 20’s. The Pain’s favourite design is the Cocktail glass. Check out the lido and then walk down to the beach, Sarah slips on some green slime and slides down on her arse for 2 metres. We collect shells to make David his own personal shell grotto.
Sarah admires the Shell Grotto cocktail glass
During soundcheck, a microphone falls and cracks me on the head - a cold, hard pain rushes through me, feeling sick and dizzy, with a pack of ice on the bump. The place is full of 18-year-old girls and boys, they are mighty confused by two girls and synthesizers. Buy they jump up and down like maniacs, and add whooping and hollering backing vocals, and clapping, wherever they can. As soon as they pick up the words they shout along in the choruses. The boys try to put Verity and Sarah off by making obscene gestures [we weren’t scared of some 18-year-old boys though! – Sarah & Verity]. The lighting is terrible; we can’t see a thing we’re playing. WE R PUNK ROCK.
>>DAY THREE – 01 JUNE – MÜLHEIM AN DER RUHR, DE Wake at 5am to get the ferry URRGHHH. They don’t seem phased by the amount of shit we have in the van. Maybe they just want an easy life. We are separated from the truckers and people are confused as Sarah tries to sleep under the table – “Is it a child? What’s it doing?” She looks like the child/thing from Don’t Look Now in her red cardigan and knee socks…
Drive across Belgium and the Netherlands. Approx 16h15 we cross the border into Germany. Verity points out a town called Wankum. This amuses our addled brains.
AZ-Mülheim is a huge communal squat building. We are welcomed like old friends, they feed us heaps of vegan food and free drinks, give us beds and a hot shower. We are overwhelmed by their generosity. Sarah wanders into gender make-over corner, a guy puts strong glue on her upper lip and starts giving her a ‘tache – “It’s a bit wonky… later I will introduce you to the person whose hair it is”. We play to a warehouse full of Gender Terrorists. We love it. And they love it. We come dressed in white and gold with flying feathers. Sarah takes out a Gender Terrorist’s eye with her theremin during the encore. Someone tells us we should enter for Eurovision next year, he will vote for us. We have been awake for 24 hours now. We are drunk, tired, and happy. Miss Pain hearts Mülheim. Einfach Klasse! Wir Sind Der Hammer !!!!
What we learned today: Einfach Klasse!! – First class!! (in a kinda 80's way). Du bist der hammer – You are the hammer (in a kinda rock way we think).
>>DAY FOUR – 02 JUNE – KARLSRUHE, DE We are fed a huge vegan breakfast, the sun is shining, do we really have to leave?
Fun fun fun on the Autobahn… We seem to have lost track of the days. It is Saturday, I think. Still feels like we are on holiday. Sarah’s moustache vanished in her sleep, mine is still here.
Karlsruhe: We are taken to a restaurant and fed good food and more drinks. Then we play in a vast derelict car show-room that has been converted to a temporary venue/gallery space. It will be destroyed in 2 weeks. We don black with yellow arrows and give them a good dose of the Pain, and they still want more. The Police arrive and close the impromptu disco in the office. Our new friends try and drag us on to a club in a slaughterhouse, but it is 4am and we convince Sarah that we must sleep. Back to our Art Nouveau hotel, super-size beds and chandeliers in our rooms.
What we learned today: Super geil... Alter – Roughly translated as super sexy and then some (best said in rather deep voice). Lüster klemme – Electric fuck or old fashioned electricians' term (we are not totally sure which)... Will you be my luster klemme? (needs to be said with a 'Doctor Face'). Danke schön - Thank you. But you must say schön with a a long 'ooooo' sound, not an 'er' sound (as we were told all English people do). We were told we would look much cooler if we said it properly. Though in Berlin, they told us they just say Danke (no schön)!
>>DAY FIVE – 03 JUNE – DAY OFF/DRIVE TO BERLIN 5 hours later, I awake to the sound of church bells. We can’t resist a photo opportunity outside the bathroom…
Our host, Oliver has been up all night, but meets us for breakfast, and we eat like kings and queens. They ask us to sign the illustrious hotel guest book, we check out the other entries from Angie Reed, Bobby Conn, and Quintron & Miss Pussycat. Oliver then takes us to see his studio where he crafts incredible gold jewellery, he shows us a unicorn pendant he has carved from mammoth ivory, standing atop a tiny blue-enamelled gold strawberry (a gift for Bobby Conn’s wife). Beautiful.
We say our goodbyes and set off on the 7+ hour drive to Berlin. We fill up the van just before we hit empty, and discover the wonders of the UriMat - you piss on it and Albert Einstein lights up PING! Later, in the absence of hot water, Sarah tries tea made with sparkling water. The grimace each time she drinks suggests she may not try it again. We drive and drive, passing beautiful settlements and toy towns, mile after mile of forest and vast open farmland. We are wowed by soaring buzzards, and hovering kites, and majestic wind-farms, and every Autobahn mile is fast and smooth. Stopping for coffee and sandwiches: among other things the vending machine in the toilets dispenses something called the ‘Travel Pussy’ – presumably to keep the lonely truckers satisfied on those long lonely journeys.
20h10: The exhaust has reached the volume of a V8 engine, and the floor beneath my feet is getting toasty. Could this be the end of the Pain van? The exhaust has sheered off under the drivers seat and has been dragging along the tarmac. Luckily, like good Pains we have breakdown cover, we phone for assistance and wait. Verity films the dusk and the lights on a nearby wind-farm.
Sarah and David pass their ‘car breakdown in German’ module. The van ist nicht tot. We are back on the road.
23h30: Arrive in Berlin, we phone Brezel, and he drives out to find us, we follow so we can drop the Miss Pain arsenal off chez Stereo Total. They take us for falafel and a beer, then back to sleep in their amazing flat.
What we learned today: Auspuff – exhaust pipe
>>DAY SIX – 04 JUNE – BERLIN, DE They tell us they have no beans for breakfast, and are amused that we drink Earl Grey (“I thought it was an English stereotype”). Brezel is appalled at how long Sarah brews the tea for. Before we woke, he phoned a mechanic and arranged to drop the van off.
The mechanic tells Brezel the van is a heap of shit!! We are dropped at Alexanderplatz and go up the Fernsehturm, to get a glimpse of the city. Next we wander over to find the venue and visit some remaining sections of the wall.
When we return to collect the van, the guy tells us the exhaust is mostly rust and is like a sieve. As we wait for an invoice, Brezel tells us about the dream he had that morning. He dreamt about our performance – Sarah was dressed as a bourgeois lady in her boudoir. She was trying to catch Verity, who was dressed as a spider on the ceiling…
Later we play at a Cowboy Club. Verity smashes a bottle of glitter in her bag, so we all cover ourselves in it. In Berlin, we are told, Monday is like Sunday. Our audience is a small crowd of Berlin faces (Stereo Total, Mignon, Cabine, Miss Le Bomb, Noisy Pig, EchoKrank, Lady Gaby, and a handful of scenesters). Feels like an audition, hard to gauge a reaction, but we play our little socks off anyway. Verity uses Brezel’s leopard-print brothel creepers as a barometer of success – she says they tapped and danced all the way through. At the end we all lay on the stage, as we pack away our equipment, everyone comes and tells us how amazing the show was, and apologizes for the small crowd. A girl tells me she likes my ‘tache: “It is very Freddie”. I make a mental note to trim it to be more Sparks before the next show.
What we learned today: Wir würden sagt 'das war spitze' - phase used by ladies in the 40's: we would say 'that was the spitze (point/sharp)'.
>>DAY SEVEN -- 05 JUNE – FRANKFURT AM MAIN, DE Everyone into the van. Hit the Autobahn, and David requests his Yes double live album. We pretend we can’t find it for a while, but relent as he is driving. We spend about 4 hours spotting our pretend favourite bits. Nobody enjoys the drum solo. We offer to find David some feathers to wear so he can feel more Prog in the driving seat. We ponder what Miss Pain would be like on Yes’s budget. It frightens us. Even scarier – by the last song we’re actually enjoying Yes. We realise that David has just been nurturing the seed that was planted at the end of Endoscopy Blues.
Sarah and Dom, listening to Yes
At the service station they pipe Sting into the toilets – for a more tantric experience. And you can buy an ice-cream called ‘Bum Bum’. Back in the van, we race towards Frankfurt, and make it just in time for a speedy interview on RadioX, then on to the venue. There is a busted piano in the backroom. David scares us with renditions of Pain and Queen songs – like a demonic Les Dawson, with a maniacal grin. The turnout is small – there is a biiiiig show across town. But we play our best-est, and we pass the audition. By the last song we have a big enough crowd to make noise for an encore. We dedicate Buslanecrash to David. As we hit the first chorus it occurs to me that this may be a slightly ill-conceived portent for our journey home…
We meet Frankfurt’s resident electro aficionado, he has seen 3 bands tonight – Coco Rosie, Miss Pain, and another. He says we beat the other 2 hands down. Another small victory for the Pains. We load the van, and drive to a small town outside the city. We cram ourselves into a tiny room with 2 of the biggest cats we have ever seen.
What we learned today: Schnurrhaare - whiskers (literal translation: 'purr-hairs')
>>DAY EIGHT -- 06 JUNE – HOMEWARD BOUND Again, we have only had about 4 hours sleep. Our voices have all dropped about an octave – David is hitting Barry White low notes, Sarah is sounding more like Nico, and I have hit a pleasing Lee Hazlewood register. Verity is mysteriously unaffected. Hit the road, another gloriously sunny day. We have 7 hours to make Ostende. I finally get to listen to Love Is All. I am tired and happy.
13h40: We leave Germany. We vow to return as soon as we can. We have a near death experience trying to get onto the Brussels ring road. By some chilling coincidence Suicide’s ‘Ghost Rider’ comes on as we sit in traffic, trying to calm our shot nerves. Nobody mentions Buslanecrash.
Sitting in the ferry lounge, loading up on nasty cheap coffee, we hear something even more alarming – a car-crash record mixing up Sting and Snow Patrol – we hope we never have to hear it again. First on the ferry, so we commandeer the TV and watch ‘Walk The Line’ and ‘Amadeus’ (David hopes it'll have Falco's 'Rock Me Amadeus' in it - it doesn't. Furthermore, it is shit!), drink more coffee, and try to stay awake.
At passport control, as they check the contents of the van, we try to explain what kind of band we are. They seem convinced and let us back in. The roundabouts are a minor challenge, so we decide to stop for food and have to spend £10 on 2 sandwiches and 2 cups of tea. David puts on the Bonzo’s to keep him awake – “Look out there’s a monster coming…” We arrive back at Miss Pain HQ around 1am and unload. Coco the cat is waiting for us, and makes us play with her for 2 hours before we can empty our heads to sleep. Tomorrow we return to normality.
Miss Pain enjoy a post-tour ice cream
words: Dom / translations: Sarah / video: Verity & Laura Guy / photos: Verity, Sarah & Laura Guy / audio: Feline1
.................................. L'AMOUR ELECTRONIQUE we play Synthesized sounds, French bubblegum pop & Electronic goodness 4TH SATURDAY OF THE MONTH New Venue!
